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Not brave, just BALD!

So it’s time I updated everyone on my ‘journey’ (not a fan of that word, suggest alternatives please!) …

Last time I spoke about my ‘joust’ with breast cancer (here) I focussed on the incredible support I was lucky enough to recieve from my ‘village’.  It’s something that has continued and which I remain very grateful for.  What I haven’t done is spoken about the facts and procedures and treatment (if you are only here for pretty pics of bush life, sneak off now and vote for your favourites (roads here, scenes here, birds & things here, cows here and dogs here).

Still with me? Okay.

So, after a mammogram found one lump in my left breast, I had a wide-excision lumpectomy and some lymph nodes removed.

Good news? Nothing in lymph nodes (so cancer hadn’t snuck off into other parts of my body – YAY!).

Bad news? A second lump was found in the margins of the first. Not so yay.

Major decision time. I won’t go into all the reasoning and details, but after looking at my various options and talking at length to my specialists, I decided to get the BIG GUNS out. Or off, if you will.

I had a bi-lateral mastectomy.

It was a good move – several ‘in situ’ tumours were located. On both sides. (Not advanced on my right side, which was excellent and meant no nodes needed to be taken.)

BB_0171My sweet sister took a day off to be with me – like the short hair?

Once I was healed, my wonderful oncologist got me started on my chemo – making sure any stray cancers would be zapped. (The mastectomy means I dodged radiation!)

chemo_0512 bwAnd while it is a little intimidating, that first visit to the Mater Cancer Care Centre, I managed to distract myself nicely with Facebook (thanks to all who helped me out with their fun comments on the day!) and my ipad Kindle app.

chemo_0529And after about 4 hours, I was DONE!

I won’t say the ride after my first chemo was cruisy – unlike a friend of mine who seemed to hardly miss a beat during hers – I am doing pretty well.

The hardest thing for me is definitely the travelling – we have clocked up almost 10000km already. I am trying to fly where possible, but flights from our closest airport can by over $1000 return. Yikes!

The most recognised of chemo side-effects is, of course, hair loss. My oncologist assured me my hair WOULD fall out in the second to third week, and after my scalp feeling weird for a few days, yesterday it started to let go…

So I did what I do, and made a decision.

Say goodbye to my hair, Mr I…

BB MR IHe wasn’t that thrilled, but knew it had to happen!

I kitted Dash and Violet up with the clippers and off we went…

BB_0630That handful of hair strands? That’s how much was coming out each time I ran my fingers through my hair before we started…

bald_0628 e

A mohawk underway!

BB_0633

They were a picture of concentration throughout (trying not to take off my ears, I think!)

BB violet

And, despite some misgivings (especially on Violet’s part) they love the feel of Mum’s new ‘do’.

Soft but spiky, apparently!

amanda bald1The kids and their handiwork…

BB axel

Even Axel took a closer look…

Now I know some people will think this whole thing – sharing my shave – is ‘brave’ (or whatever). I don’t. I am doing what people all over the world do, when their hair starts abandoning them.  That’s hardly special.

But I do know some people find it really confronting to lose their hair.

And I just want to show them, that taking charge and making your own decision to take it off is okay.  It’s more than okay – it’s actually kind of liberating.

We even had fun doing it!

And as long as you wear a smile, you’ll be alright.

amanda bald2 e

Of course I have had had to promise Violet I won’t go out like this too often in public.

I have a wig kindly lent by the Kim Walters Choices Foundation, and a couple of turbans and some scarves.

Now if I could JUST work out how to tie those things, I’d be right.

All suggestions welcome.

35 Comments

  • Nicole Alexander

    Sexy mumma! Just in time for summer. Invest in some organic shampoo like Sukin and massage some oil into your scalp like Loreal Facial Oil once a week. When your hair comes back you’ll have luscious locks. x

  • MARLA

    GO YOU!!! That’s the spirit Amanda. Tackle this bugger head on!! Well done.. Gutsy move.. And the journey thing…. Call it the road trip you hadn’t planned… Such a positive take on everything!! A selfless, beautiful mum!! Breed em tough out in the bush.!! By the way… The new do actually suits you!!

  • Florence

    You Amanda look AWESOME. And Dash and Violet, you did a pretty terrific job on Mum. With your kids and Mr Incredible in your corner (as well as your village) you will come out smiling at the other end of it. Mind you, you always have that smile, even when you are kicked in the guts (sorry, but that is the only way to describe it) My love comes to you as many healing vibes. xxxx
    And probably another card (if you don’t mind?

    • BB of Oz

      The cards are beautiful Florence – and very sweet. I have my moments, like anyone. But I always feel better when I smile…
      😀

  • Kelly

    Well I must say, you wear the “no hair” look well. Maybe it’s just that warm, brilliant smile. I must also commend you for turning the kiddos loose with the clippers….but it appears they did a fine job.

    Sweet Axel looks a wee bit befuddled. 🙂
    Kelly´s last blog post ..Sadie

  • Colin Huggins

    Oh Gawd! Well if it is to be, so be it.
    It will grow back.
    I am sure all will be well in the long term,
    albeit rather bloody frightening.
    The “junior” shearers did a good job – the last of the Mohawks!
    All the very best for a speedy recovery.
    Colin

  • Hippomanic Jen

    You have beautiful bone structure! Not having hair lets you show it off for a while. All the best for your continuing treatment.

  • debby

    Leave it to you to turn your hair clipping into a party. I hid out in the bathroom and did it myself on Thanksgiving morning before anyone got up. Seemed sensible at the time. I did not want hair in the turkey. But know what? Your way is better. Party on, sistah! Bald accentuates that smile of yours.
    debby´s last blog post ..Spooky-Eeky.

  • Lynda M Otvos

    Know that healing energy is beaming its way to you on every possible sunbeam. Thank you for being you; I won’t get mushy but you’re a damnably special gal and I hope that the trek thru the chemo… well, shoot, I’m finally outta words, Amanda. Take this hug instead.
    Lynda M Otvos´s last blog post ..Nice Car Ya Got There…

  • Coral

    Dash and Violet did well with your hair clip and I think you look pretty good Amanda. Your attitude and your family’s support will be an inspiration to many, some of whom may not be meeting their ‘hiccup’ as you are. Hiccup is what my friend called it when she was diagnosed and treated 2 years ago. She is well now. Hope the road trip goes smoothly from here.

  • Merry-Anne

    Wow, trust you to party. You were sent down the wrong track but I’m sure you’ll be back, brighter than ever. Keep well and Mr I and kids & your village will get you through.

  • Anne@Grit and Giggles

    I love that you let the kids join in and be part of the journey, making it not such a scary thing. I guess hats will be the new fashion accessory. By the way you are brave by not only firmly making decisions that need to be made but also that you are sharing your journey. I think it is important for you but also a great way to share the reality of it all from distance to hair cutting. Groove that new do and enjoy not needing to brush it, no knots and you can even do the man thing and only wash whenever, oh and your shampoo and conditioner use will certainly go down, all bonuses. Best of luck … love the hiccup comment by Carol … Keep on smiling and enjoying life.
    Anne@Grit and Giggles´s last blog post ..Cairns Festival: Parade

  • Gillian

    Well done Mandy! And might I say you look as beautiful as ever. Your beautiful smile makes me smile. Good luck with the scarves! I say YouTube it and get a tutorial on how to wrap them up.
    xo

  • Mrs Catch

    You look fabulous. Your smile just lights up the photo. You’ve done the right thing with your hair. What no-one mentions is how uncomfortable losing your hair is. It gets on your pillow, in your eyes, in your mouth, everywhere and is horrendously itchy. You’ll be amazed how quickly it’ll come back. Most people’s hair goes curly for a few years afterwards. You had the same op as my mum. She had hers 26 years ago. Glad you’ve got your village. I hope you feel better soon.
    Xxxx
    Mrs Catch´s last blog post ..Holiday

  • Carolyn

    Ahhh Amanda you really are a remarkable lady and an inspiration.
    In our family, journeys are referred to as ‘character building experiences’.

  • Nancy in Savannah

    I have missed most of this, although I knew something was wrong from your comments on Facebook. Moving here and getting used to being in a powerchair has kept me away from my favorite blogs, and I’m sorry for that. I’ve missed you, and vow to be in touch now. Amanda, you have a beautiful head, skull included! It was wonderful of you to share this experience with the kiddos…and they looked happy to help and be part of it. Tell Mr. I he can always do what my niece’s husband did when she “went bald” for the same reason – he joined her and shaved his head! No need for wigs, scarves or hats – flaunt that gorgeous face and skull! Love and hugs to you!

  • Mandy

    Instead of journey – how about tunnel – something you will pass through and then re-enter the light.
    A friend of mine runs Friendly Faces Helping Hands http://www.friendlyfaces.info/
    This is a foundation set up specifically to help rural people who need to go to cities for hospital. She may be able to help you out with travel. Best of luck, Mandy

  • Helen Beutel

    That was a beautiful story of your journey so far. Your smile is so uplifting. It was wonderful to see how the children joined in with the clippers. Lots of Love Amanda for your continuing treatments.

  • Benison O'Reilly (@BenisonAnne)

    Had no idea you were going through this, but it sounds like you caught it early-ish, which is great news. Hope the chemo isn’t too rugged. No-one will notice the lack of hair when they see that gorgeous smile. xxx

  • Wendy McKenzie

    Hi Mandy
    Hope you don’t mind me ‘following’ you but it appears our ‘journey is going down the same road at the moment.
    Maybe we’ll catch up at a party soon lol
    Thinking of you
    Take care
    Wendy

  • carol alex

    You look amazing, you are just naturally beautiful and your children did a great job! I have a quite a few friends who have gone through this over the years and they all are the most rowdy people I know to this day, Ha! I see that everyone is very proud of you, and I am too. You go girl!

  • Jac

    AMAZING!! YOU ARE AMAZING!!
    You look great – just a note for when it starts growing back; you really rocked that mohawk…. 😉 oh and make sure you sunscreen your head!!

  • Dawn C

    You, my dear, are beautiful. Love how you take control and let the kiddos help out. Now, I may be a hick from Northern California, but don’t you aussies say walkabout for a journey?? 😉

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