Delight in the details: the anti-anti-aging post
I have to admit to being a little hot under the collar lately…
about all this anti-aging attitude on TV.
One Aussie show in particular – Ten Years Younger in Ten Days – has really bothered me. It promotes botox injections and surgical eye lifts among it’s ‘tools’ to ‘improve’ people’s appearance. It bothered me not ONLY because I think of makeovers involving surgery as ‘Only in America’ activities (sorry my Yankee friends) but because it seems to reflect how society (the global village society) looks upon the more mature citizens of this world.
The ones that have actually DONE SOMETHING.
…
Now I am not devoid of vanity – I make the occasional effort to look good. I have no issue with people making the most of their looks, in buffing up, fixing teeth, feeling better about themselves. (Heck I should do some more of that myself!).
But when we clear our faces of expression, of our trademark lines and natural responses, aren’t we clearing our personal history and even a piece of who we are?
…
What does it say when we decide someones worth is in how young they look?
What does it tell our kids when we elevate lack of laugh lines to ‘must have’ status?
What does it give away about our own sense of being when immobile brows and surgically-enhanced eyes – to the point it’s possible our own families wouldn’t recognise us – is seen as essential to our state of mind?
Something bloody frightening, that’s what it says.
…
You know, I don’t get het up much – and I really have liked Sonya Kruger (the presenter of this TYYiTD) who is generally pretty and sharp and funny. But I swear – if I hear her say
“Your kids won’t know you”
(and giggle like it’s a good thing)
one more time – I will scream.
I take photos of people and things. Old and young.
And let me tell you something, Ms Kruger:
It all gets more beautiful (in my eyes) the older anything is.
Sure the paint might not be perfect and line-free,but the stories of adventure and life and strength lie in each crack, each flake, each non-sheer inch that faces the world, make it something to gaze at in quiet appreciation.
…
And sure, the odd hinge might be a little rusty…
…but it’s changed patina echoes the incredible job it has done throughout the years
and the weathered pieces surrounding it have a charm no buffed-up new planks could possibly hope to share.
…
And, in certain lights, the surreal glow of aging metal – earned through years of service and dependability and practicality – can pretty much stop you in your tracks. 
The elegance and character born of years of gravity and the elements is impossible to achieve with anything less than the teamwork of Mother Nature and Father Time.
…
Even weeds rejuvenate naturally with the seasons – beauty in the bloom and in the fading flower. 
One no better than the other.
…
Why do we think it’s any different for humans?
Why can’t we cherish & revere faces that have stood the Tests of Time,
as we do weathered sheds
and antique furniture
and fine wine?
Damn it.
I think we should.
24 Comments
Woman in a Window
Here, HERE! (Banging on table.) I’m 39 today and I’d rather be 40. 40 is something, you know. I’m not racing backwards. I’m plodding along forwards. I wouldn’t go back for anything, and I’ll keep my power lines with me, thank you very much.
Jenni
Fantastic post! I was just thinking about this yesterday. I’m starting to get a few grey hairs, especially at my temples, and I don’t think I want to do anything about it. I mean, sure, I’ll see how it turns out, but even if I opt for a little color eventually, I won’t do it the way most people do. I think as we age something a little softer actually looks better. So many people try to go platinum blonde or dark black or brown to match some picture they have of youth. Trouble is, even young people are doing so much to change their looks that it’s hard to tell what young was supposed to look like originally anyway. The result is something that doesn’t look quite human to me. I find it rather unattractive, actually. Dyed hair, colored contacts, fake tans, fake boobs, a nip here, a tuck there. Why is it so many people think plastic and fake is the standard for beauty? It’s a look that belongs in horror movies.
Hal Johnson
I’m really with you on this one. One of the travesties of popular culture is the utter lack of respect for age and experience.
Heather
Excellent post. I agree whole-heartedly. And I agree it’s not just the older ones doing it, young people are trying to change their appearance as well.
Sad.
Pencil Writer
Amen! And thank you! I believe we have unfortunately entered one of those phases of human mortality (the cycle seems to turn every so often) toward the artificiality over the reality of life. Seems to me like way too many people have too much time and money that they don’t know what to do with, so they try to “paint on a facade” and, like you mentioned, mar the essence of true beauty and character.
It shows a terrible focus on the egocentric and lack of humanity. Does that sound extremly harsh and critical of me?
I mean, I, like you, try to “clean up and fix up, too, but surgery? Botox? Are they out of their minds? The only surgery I ever plan to have–maybe–is essential to my survival–as in essential for bodily functionality!
But, think too, and I hope I don’t step on toes, but if you look at some of those who are going for these extreme measures, they are often those who’ve abused their bodies with over indulgence–and have ignored the qualities of focusing on helping others over themselves. Life styles that include hard, honest work, service to others and a focus on the blessings God has given us, I think yield a lifestyle that puts things into a more fulfilling perspective, one that doesn’t need artificial means to make one “feel” worthwhile or “beautiful.”
I’m so glad for your post, Bush Babe. It’s something I’ve had very sad feelings about for those so caught up in all that mess. You nailed it. Thanks. And, I think you are beautiful! As you are. Keep up the good work!
Kelly
Great post! I’m 50 and have no problem with my age, my gray hair, my “laugh lines”. It’s all part of who I am at this stage in life.
I never was one for much makeup, but even quit that when my husband didn’t seem to notice if I had it on or not, LOL. That’s not to say I don’t care about my looks, though. I use moisturizer with sunscreen, shampoo that brightens my silver hair, etc.
Thanks for such an honest, relevant post!
Leenie
AMEN!
Anonymous
In 20 days I’ll be 70 and I’ve EARNED every wrinkle, age spot and gray hair! They’re like ribbons on the chest of a general. Don’t touch ’em! 🙂 Lee
A Novel Woman
YES! YESSSSSSSSSSSS!!!
I just published an essay on why I won’t get Botox, even after I was offered a free treatment. (Seriously. You have to have some guts to go up to a woman of a Certain Age and ask her if she wants free Botox….)
Here in North America, we don’t respect our elders. In fact we seem to take delight in mocking them on television and in ads. How did this happen? I’ve always taught my daughters it’s what is inside that counts. What kind of lesson am I giving them when I paralyze my face and think of aging as a punishment?
I hear you. Can you hear me roar?
Anonymous
Well done I like what and how you said it. you have just about summed it up and nailed it to a tree. Today, your font should have a bumper sticker stating “FEAR THIS” Thanks for the memory flash of grandma, friends and mentors. Their knowledge and caring showed in their faces. When I was young I don’t think That I could have trusted someone with a plastic face. Just old Bill (USA)
HR
Hi BB-It’s been a while since I’ve gotten over here. As I was catching up I came to your great photo of your two friends holding up the quilt.
It makes your point well, don’t you think?
Cheers–HR
~ ennui ~
Here, here! Lovely images as well…
xoxo
Gina
I hear you!! Great post!!
jeanie
You know my views on this subject – turn off the darned TV, woman!!
Kate
I LOVE THIS POST!!! We Yanks really do have serious issues in this arena but i didn’t know that it had spread to places like Australia, which i’ve always thought of as a down-to-earth, more natural place. I think faces with wrinkles and LIFE in them are so beautiful. I love PW’s images of her cowboys, their faces are so real and beautiful. I turn 30 today and honestly I’m struggling with it. But it’s more the number than how i look. I don’t mind a few lines and i’ve always had a million freckles so my face has never been perfect.
It is sad how hard we fight aging. A Novel Woman is so right about us not respecting our elders here anymore. It drives me nuts that kids don’t say Sir or Ma’am anymore or even listen to the elderly. So many that i know call their elders by their first names (i really think that kids should use Mr. and Mrs. until they are of a certain age, it promotes respect). I wend to school in Hawaii and it is very different here. Elders are revered and they can discipline any kid on the street and that kid will listen. I was amazed. Sorry off the soapbox.
I really do agree that laugh lines and wrinkles are beautiful and tell the story of your life. Thank you for a wonderful post.
d/iowa
amen sistah!
Jayne
Exactly!
We are who we are and we cannot stop the march of time or our own history from writing it's way across our faces.
Mary Paddock
Occasionally I see an older woman and think “I want to look like that when I get to be her age.” I am sliding into my mid forties with decidedly mixed feelings about it, but I’m good with lines and wrinkles.
Anonymous
I’m waiting to see what happens to all these women as they age. What unforeseen impact is all the botox and surgery going to have? I like to be able to express myself with my face, there’s no way I’m going to mess about with that.
Debby
I have never understood it, myself. I did color my hair (when I had it). The thing is that after denying their years for any length of time, most of them just look freakish.
Cathy
I love old fence and barn pics…
~*Autumn*~
Totally agree and I think the lack of respect for the elderly in our society is something that needs to be addressed to. It used to be common knowledge and taught with upbringing… where did it become forgotten?
Gem
you had to know i was going to love this one!
Ghislaine
I completely agree with you. I have lived in both Paris and New York City and to be honest I see how the women in New York disfigure themselves and it makes me cringe. Parisians eat healthy, work out and just live a healthier life and because of that they look amazing. I watched this video the other day http://www.howcast.com/videos/143624-How-To-Prevent-Wrinkles and realized that to stay young and healthy all you have to do is take care of yourself.