‘F’ is for trees

I am sitting here typing this in my tracksuit, ugg boots and dressing gown.(I like you to have a nice, glamorous mental picture of me as you read!)

What I SHOULD be doing is washing and sorting and unpacking and tidying and preparing for an event tomorrow.

What I AM doing instead, is.. well… typing this.

Obviously.

This post is actually about trees – not really the trees I have used for illustration purposes, but the ‘F’ trees.

Family trees.

I feel the need to write this post because the weekend just passed saw our particular family tree grow significantly… not because a baby had just been born though.  But because a baby born 21 years ago managed to bring our family back in contact with her family, and another family.  I won’t be terribly clear or detailed about all this – mostly because it is simply not my story to tell – except to say that Dash and Violet discovered a number of half sisters and brothers over the weekend. (Late edit – okay my maths has always sucked. One half-sister and lots of HER siblings and half sisters and brothers.  My head aches with the permutations!).

And that, despite the potential for it all to go a little pear-shaped, it was utterly wonderful.

The one thing I will say is that Honesty – honesty between pretty much ALL of those involved and especially in our little family – ensured that we felt simply pride and joy at a 21st birthday party on Friday night.  I took photos (hey, it’s what I do- makes me feel useful) and in each and every photo (that I cannot show you here) pride and joy are clearly etched into those smiling faces.

And I think about our family, who have always been waiting for this extra branch to arrive and show itself on the sturdy, gnarly trunk of our (family) tree.

I think about all the ways it could have been harder, more difficult, painful.  Goodness knows you read and hear about how complicated and knotted it can get.  And how (for us, and I speak ONLY for us) it was simple honesty that ensured that none of those eventualities sullied the events of our weekend…

I think about how adoption actually provides new grafts onto a number of family trees, besides the one who so longed for and planned for it’s arrival.  I think about how other family trees have also had new grafts gifted upon them – those who were part of creating it originally too.  And how the family who has adopted, can actually make space for grafting these families onto their own tree too.  Grafts that will never take over from the main growth plan of that tree, but who are part of it nonetheless.  And that (if it is done right) all these complicated grafts add something really beautiful and valuable and important.  I know it has to ours.  I hope it has to all theirs.

Are you confused yet? Too many tree analogies?

Let me just say that we are so lucky that the wonderful girl/woman whose birthday we celebrated has a fabulous family – a generous family who have let us all into her life, into their lives.

We really cannot express enough thanks to them for everything they have done.

I hope they understand it anyway.

I promise not to be so cryptic next post.  I just had to say all this out loud today.

From the chick who loves her complicated ‘F tree’.

BB