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Giving thanks…

I realise today is Mother’s Day.  I do.  My Mother knows already how much I cherish the chances I have been given in this life.

She knows I haven’t always had it easy, and that she is a major part of the reason I bounce back from Life’s challenges as well as I do (although I note that she is careful to assign the stubborness/pigheadedness of which I am capable firmly at my father’s feet).  I think that our city pharmacist, working solo-in-the-bush in the 60’s Ma has been an amazing role model for her offspring, and is a pretty cool chick all-round.

Today, however, I want to be a little selfish and focus on my own version of Motherhood.  It was a life ambition that I never really felt as an adolescent or in my early 20s. Not til I found a certain tall handsome blue-eyed bloke who made me see the light.

For me, despite initial misgivings about my fitness for parenthood, having children has proven a treasure trove of wonder.

First and foremost amongst these revelations is that I struck gold when I chose their father.  (He will of course claim that I chased him and wore him down, which is so far from the truth it’s hilarious, but I like to humour him when he tells the story!).  Seriously though, the man is an awesome Dad.

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I have also discovered many MANY things about myself.

I found out that I am not QUITE as self-centred as I suspected.  For instance, I discovered I can clean up vomit without ‘going out in sympathy’… but only just.  (And let me tell you, for the first year or so of his life, our Dash tried out that particular reflex on a close-to-daily basis).  I discovered I can go without sleep, don’t really need to paint my nails and Life will not come to a screaming halt just because I don’t fit perfectly into on-trend fashion.

I also discovered a whole myriad of previously untapped nerve-endings. My capacity to feel exploded with the arrival of these two little people.  My ability to experience their pain and their anguish and their joy and their humour is stunning.  It’s exhausting and exhilarating and fabulous and gut-wrenching.

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Nobody warned me of the emotional rollercoaster of parenthood. And I am so glad they didn’t.

I hope to get some trinkets and cuddles in bed this morning, as the sun rises on Mother’s Day in Oz.  But as any mother knows, the real gift is not so much in the trinket or breakfast offering, as it is in the wriggling excitement of your kids as they await your reaction.  I anticipate that fizzing fabulous moment above all others…

I realise this post is hopelessly self-indulgent… I am adding a PS below to temper the message here. But first…

To Dash and Violet – thankyou.  For whatever you give me today.  And for my everyday rollercoasters too.

love always

The Luckiest Mum in the World…

Special Footnote:

I want to note that I don’t think motherhood needs to be for every woman.  As an ex-journo I chanced upon a number of people who should never have chosen to be parents, and whose children suffered terribly (and often tragically) as a result.  It’s part of what made me nervous about being a parent. ALL kids deserve to have parents who truly want them – I don’t know that there is a greater gift. 

And I deeply admire women who can clearly and logically assess their own situations and outlooks and choose NOT to have children.   It is a courageous choice (in a society that holds family upon an often unrealistic pedestal) and should really be celebrated too.

That said, my heart breaks for each and every woman who yearns for motherhood and has that choice elude them.  Nature is so bloody unfair sometimes.

12 Comments

  • Kelly

    What a lovely, lovely post!

    I despise the holiday (for reasons I won’t go into here) and do not consider myself a “kid person”, but having said that….I love my three kids (all adults now) with all my heart and pray I’ve been the mother to them that God wanted me to be.

    Hoping your Mother’s Day is wonderful!
    Kelly´s last blog post ..Mooooo two

  • Colin Huggins

    Most eloquent and not the least bit self-indulgent. Your “now overseas travelling Mother” must be very proud of you, as would be your Dad and Mr. “I”. Your two children are VERY lucky and I am sure most appreciative of all that you have done for them. They are indeed two of the luckiest kids on this Earth. Well done.
    I think you “PS” is great also and so true.
    Have a great day.
    Colin.
    PS: I did my Mother’s Day call last night, just in case my dear 92 year old Mother decides to go out for the day.

  • BB of Oz

    Update: Chocolate milk bath mixture, handmade bath sponges and cutest cards ever! (Dash signed his ‘best son in the world’… LOL).

  • Andrew

    I am such a sook. I teared up as I read your post, but quickly dried up as I came to your very logical conclusion. I’m not a parent type, but I do admire those who are. We humans have had rather a lot of experience at being parents though. Funny how it is so difficult now. Different times.
    Andrew´s last blog post ..Sunday Selections and The Block spoiler alert

  • Nancy in Iowa

    That was beautiful, and made me miss my daughter and grandson even more! But next Mother’s Day will be spent with them, so that’s OK. Hope to be moved close to them in a few months.

    Hugs to you!

  • debby

    I once read that having children is like having your heart walking round outside your body. It’s kind of like that, isn’t it?

    I’m glad that your day was wonderful.
    debby´s last blog post ..Happy Ending

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