STRINE RULE #1: Laughing at ourselves
Given my recent encounters with translations from the American vernacular (‘hiney’ I have discovered, refers to your rear end, and a bit more), I thought I would trim down a popular email doing the rounds and share it with you.
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I think this list defines how weirdly proud we are of our Aussie idiosyncrasies – once, in the not-too-distant past, instant nationwide cringing would have been the first response to an overtly Strine depiction of us. Now the laugh of recognition comes first, with a defiant kind of “that’s us, mate! Loud and proud” attitude – we can perhaps lay the credit at the much-missed feet of Steve Irwin. Or Dame Edna, or maybe Nicole or Cate or Toni Collette (Muriels Wedding is an all-time Strine classic!)
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Whatever the reason for this patriotic rush, I shall be most interested to hear how much confusion is stirred in readers from elsewhere on this fine planet.
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You know you’re Australian if …
1. You know the meaning of the word “girt”.
2. You believe that stubbies can be either drunk or worn.
3. You think it’s normal to have a leader called Kevin.
4. You waddle when you walk due to the 53 expired petrol discount vouchers stuffed in your wallet or purse.
5. You’ve made a bong out of your garden hose rather than use it for something illegal such as watering the garden.
6. You believe it is appropriate to put a rubber in your son’s pencil case when he first attends school.
7. When you hear that an American “roots for his team” you wonder how often and with whom.
8. You understand that the phrase “a group of women wearing black thongs” refers to footwear and may be less alluring than it sounds.
9. You pronounce Melbourne as “Mel-bin”.
10. You pronounce Penrith as “Pen-riff“.
11. You believe the “l” in the word “Australia” is optional.
12. You can translate: “Dazza and Shazza played Acca Dacca on the way to Maccas.”
13. You believe it makes perfect sense for a nation to decorate its highways with large fibreglass bananas, prawns and sheep.
14. You call your best friend “a total bastard” but someone you really, truly despise is just “a bit of a bastard”.
15. You think “Woolloomooloo” is a perfectly reasonable name for a place.
16. You’re secretly proud of our killer wildlife.
17. You believe it makes sense for a country to have a $1 coin that’s twice as big as its $2 coin.
18. You understand that “Wagga Wagga” can be abbreviated to “Wagga” but “Woy Woy” can’t be called “Woy”.
19. You believe that cooked-down axlegrease* makes a good breakfast spread. (*Vegemite!)
20. You believe all famous Kiwis are actually Australian, until they stuff up, at which point they again become Kiwis.
21. Hamburger. Beetroot. Of course.
22. You know that certain words must, by law, be shouted out during any rendition of the Angels’ song Am I Ever Gonna See Your Face Again.
23. You believe, as an article of faith, that the confectionery known as the Wagon Wheel has become smaller with every passing year
2. You believe that stubbies can be either drunk or worn.
3. You think it’s normal to have a leader called Kevin.
4. You waddle when you walk due to the 53 expired petrol discount vouchers stuffed in your wallet or purse.
5. You’ve made a bong out of your garden hose rather than use it for something illegal such as watering the garden.
6. You believe it is appropriate to put a rubber in your son’s pencil case when he first attends school.
7. When you hear that an American “roots for his team” you wonder how often and with whom.
8. You understand that the phrase “a group of women wearing black thongs” refers to footwear and may be less alluring than it sounds.
9. You pronounce Melbourne as “Mel-bin”.
10. You pronounce Penrith as “Pen-riff“.
11. You believe the “l” in the word “Australia” is optional.
12. You can translate: “Dazza and Shazza played Acca Dacca on the way to Maccas.”
13. You believe it makes perfect sense for a nation to decorate its highways with large fibreglass bananas, prawns and sheep.
14. You call your best friend “a total bastard” but someone you really, truly despise is just “a bit of a bastard”.
15. You think “Woolloomooloo” is a perfectly reasonable name for a place.
16. You’re secretly proud of our killer wildlife.
17. You believe it makes sense for a country to have a $1 coin that’s twice as big as its $2 coin.
18. You understand that “Wagga Wagga” can be abbreviated to “Wagga” but “Woy Woy” can’t be called “Woy”.
19. You believe that cooked-down axlegrease* makes a good breakfast spread. (*Vegemite!)
20. You believe all famous Kiwis are actually Australian, until they stuff up, at which point they again become Kiwis.
21. Hamburger. Beetroot. Of course.
22. You know that certain words must, by law, be shouted out during any rendition of the Angels’ song Am I Ever Gonna See Your Face Again.
23. You believe, as an article of faith, that the confectionery known as the Wagon Wheel has become smaller with every passing year
24. You wear ugh boots outside the house.
25. You believe that the more you shorten someones name the more you like them.
26. Whatever your linguistic skills, you find yourself able to order takeaway fluently in every Asian language.
27. You understand that “excuse me” can sound rude, while “scuse me” is always polite.
28. You know what it’s like to swallow a fly, on occasion via your nose.
29. You understand that “you” has a plural and that it’s “youse“.
30. You know it’s not summer until the steering wheel is too hot to handle.
31. Your biggest family argument over the summer concerned the rules for beach cricket.
32. You still think of Kylie as “that girl off Neighbours“.
33. When returning home from overseas, you expect to be brutally strip-searched by Customs – just in case you’re trying to sneak in fruit.
34. You believe the phrase “smart casual” refers to a pair of black tracky-daks, suitably laundered.
35. You understand that all train timetables are works of fiction.
36. You get choked up with emotion by the first verse of the national anthem and then have trouble remembering the second.
37. You know, whatever the tourist books say, that no one says “cobber”.
25. You believe that the more you shorten someones name the more you like them.
26. Whatever your linguistic skills, you find yourself able to order takeaway fluently in every Asian language.
27. You understand that “excuse me” can sound rude, while “scuse me” is always polite.
28. You know what it’s like to swallow a fly, on occasion via your nose.
29. You understand that “you” has a plural and that it’s “youse“.
30. You know it’s not summer until the steering wheel is too hot to handle.
31. Your biggest family argument over the summer concerned the rules for beach cricket.
32. You still think of Kylie as “that girl off Neighbours“.
33. When returning home from overseas, you expect to be brutally strip-searched by Customs – just in case you’re trying to sneak in fruit.
34. You believe the phrase “smart casual” refers to a pair of black tracky-daks, suitably laundered.
35. You understand that all train timetables are works of fiction.
36. You get choked up with emotion by the first verse of the national anthem and then have trouble remembering the second.
37. You know, whatever the tourist books say, that no one says “cobber”.
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You know you’re not Australian if … you gave up reading this at # 12.
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All questions will be checked and clarified “drekkly”.
This cobber is off for a smoko and a tub.
Check ya later, mate.
BB
10 Comments
Mama DB
I’m not going to pretend that I understood even half of that. I did laugh though!
debby
Oh, BB, when Britain and Australia were competing (soccer? I don’t know), I actually responded to his e-mail with…”How do you know who to root for?” He’s British originally, lives in Sydney. Yeah. He’s married. He knew exactly who he was rooting for.
Oooh. Did someone send you a rude comment?
debby
Dang. I have to read before I publish. ‘his e-mail’ refers to an e-mail friend. He calls himself a Pommie.
jeanie
Hey babe – big time! Did you get spammed?
Love your new header!
Another one is that sloppy joes are worn over here.
Andrea
I have no idea what half of that said. I think it’s so funny how there are so many differnt kinds of “English”. Even from the Northern United States to the Southern States. I was so confused when I first moved south, I couldn’t understand anyone! LOL!! Great post, I didn’t understand most of it, and I did read past the second one!!
alysonhill
Loved this BB! I had an American boyfriend once, who could not get over the fact that I called all my best mates ‘dag’s’ and that it was the word to describe poo dreadlocks on a sheeps bum. It didn’t last long.
Bush Babe (of Granite Glen)
Hello all… firstly no, I didn’t get a rude comment… if I did the author thought better of it and removed it themselves (too clever by far!).
I have to admit that some of the words used in this post are not actually regular speech – Drekkly was a great aunts version of “directly” and for years I thought it was a unique word to her. Cobber is unheard of these days… very old people might use it in the same way as “mate” might be used now.
Thongs and bastard are very much on the money though. Fannys (I should have noted) have much different meanings between the USA and Australia. Ask Debby…
Having travelled reasonably through the continents I am always amazed how much one language can vary. Makes for much confusion and laughter – perhaps not such a bad thing…
Have a great day, mates!
BB
Anonymous
I saw your comment on Pioneer Woman’s blog and am curious to know what fanny means in Aussie.
Can you explain or is it just too wrong.
Don’t mean to be anon but I don’t have a blog 🙁
Life is Good
Bush Babe (of Granite Glen)
OK Anon (Life is Good)… here is how I explained it to Debby:
Our fanny is… well lets just say its kind of in the same vicinity as your (American) fanny, but if you get hit there, you don’t clutch your butt cheeks, you double over forwards. Nuff said.
:-0
BB
PS I think you can give yourself an identity without having a blog. Not trying to drag you out of the closet or anything. Just a thought.
Jenni
I only got some of that. I do love your Acca Dacca. I just learned that term yesterday morning by guessing correctly on an Australian trivia quiz:o)
I have always been fascinated with Australia and Australians. Everything I’ve seen and read makes you seem like such down-to-earth, very real folks. I like that you are proud of your own idiosyncrasies. You just come off as very genuine, honest, and straighforward with a good dose of humor thrown in. Those are qualities I love to see in people.