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Up the Duff… do yourself a favour!

OK. Sorry. No, really.
I just don’t think sometimes…
I quite forget that we speak a whole different lingo down here than that enunciated throughout the rest of the world’s allegedly English-speaking civilisation
And I used the words “Up the Duff“.
My humblest apologies for springing that little corker on you unannounced.
*tugs forelock while backing away*
I need to hastily explain that I was not being shockingly rude
(really really sorry Debby, hope you didn’t choke on somethin)
when I wished my sister a Happy Up the Duffness.
I was actually wishing her a good pregnancy.
Up the Duff = Pregnant.
In Oz anyway.
I made the Duff-ness bit up.
Thought it was cute.
Silly me.
And being me, I shall now commence to pass on the blame for this whole fiasco to a certain Aussie comedian/artist/author (hell if someone can hang onto those three titles successfully, in the Land of the Tall Poppy, they deserve what’s coming to them!).
Her name is Kaz Cooke.
(Kaz is Aussie for Karen, in case anyone is wondering. Still with me?)
And Kaz Cooke wrote a little old book about a decade ago that helped me (and a few gazillion other pregnant chicks) giggle their way through their nine months of an ever-expanding girth and terror of the end result.
The name of that ticklish tome?
Up the Duff.
In it Kaz unleashes her razor, warped Aussie wit (and kooky caricatures) to illustrate the various stages of pregnancy. The heroine is called Hermoine the Modern Girl who (coincidentally) finds herself pregnant. It’s a riot. One line in particular sticks in my mind (eight years after reading it):
At this stage, your foetus resembles something like a crustacean made of snot.
Ah, it still tickles me.
This is Kaz.
Her caption under this photo on her website reads:
Absurdly flattering photograph of Kaz taken zillions of years ago.
Now she’s quite ancient.
How can you not love her?
She has also written this little publication aimed at helping women with all girly issues from their first period (or as we charmingly referred to ‘it’ at boarding school, The Rags) to the last. I suspect Hermoine is at it again for this book…
Kid Wrangling is another I suspect I might do well to invest in – Lord knows I needed a laugh tonight when I discovered Dash and Violet had concocted enough glue (i.e. plain flour and water) to put the Ark back together. And I reckon Girl Stuff (about all things adolescent female) might be handy as Violet rockets towards those teenage years. Even if I just throw it at the boys trying to climb in the bedroom windows!
There are plenty of other riotous offerings (check her site out to see what tickles you) but this one caught my eye after a certain recent rant that took place on this blog.
I suspect Hermoine might not be a Botox fan…
but she is looking mighty perky here.
Hmmm… I shall just have to read it and get back to you.

So there we go.
That’s my excuse and I am sticking with it:
I’m an Aussie and I read Kaz Cooke.
I can be blamed for nothing.
🙂

16 Comments

  • steviewren

    Congratulations to your Up the Duff sister. Thanks for the explanation. I never would have guessed that meaning. But I still can't figure out how that phrase came to mean preggers.

  • Amanda

    HAHAHA I think it is a very cute term. I was born and raised in the deep south, Louisiana and when I moved away I was quite shocked that the terminology I grew up with was not used by everybody else in the USA. It is the differences that make us who we are. The minute I open my mouth people know where I come from. It would be a boring world if we all spoke the same.

  • Mom L

    I'm going to have to try to find a copy of "Up the Duff" for Diane!!! And she will probably need the others along the way. "The Rags", huh? In my Florida teens it was "I fell off the roof"!! Go figure.

    Nancy in Atlanta

  • ~*Autumn*~

    I live in the USA, but I am definitely going to be checking out these books. They sound full of giggles and side splitting moments. Well worth the search I'm sure. 🙂

  • Jayne

    LOL I haven't heard 'The Rags' for an eternity!

    David Niven once offered to wake a female starlet on a ship by stating "I'll be down at 7am to knock you up" – she took it to mean the other and wouldn't open her door or speak to him afterwards LOL.

  • Debby

    *haughty sniff*

    Well, I do feel somewhat mollified. My tender sensibilities were in a tizzy.

    *takes another sip of tea with pinky finger extended*

    Gah! My word verification is engstme. What kinda blog is this?

  • Karen

    Kaz sounds like so much more fun than Karen.

    Love the "Up the Duff" saying too. Over here we say "knocked up" which is the same thing.

  • d/iowa

    so i just went to amazon.com to order the 'up the duff' book and USED copies start at $45! WHAT? $45.00 for a used paperback is unheard of! 🙁

    is it THAT good?

  • Kate

    Ha!! Love it. I definitively want to find her books but it looks like they are pricey. I'll keep looking. We come up with the funniest saying don't we, all over the world. I mean we Yanks say Prego, preggars, Bun in the Oven, The Rabbit Died, knocked up, wearing her apron high, incubator, all crazy 🙂 My friends and i used to say Red Dog is Biting when referring to being on our period. We got the weirdest looks…and deservedly so.

  • bigheadedbob

    Long time stalker,first post. All though I was laughing at all the comments posted, can you some how block me from coming back to this site? At least till tomorrow?

  • Woman in a Window

    Blamed for nothing but a good sense of humour. Wish I'd have had her book eons ago when it was relevant. But then I don't think I had the sense of humour then. D'oh!

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