Boots! (Ch 18)
Welcome back to the long-running Fairy Blog Tale – where three weeks worth of travelling translates into forever’s worth of Fantasy and Fun. Our Family had JUST arrived in the Big D (Dallas, Texshus) and had gone all serious and solemn at this place. They decided to wander aimlessly (because they had already decided that THIS is what they did best)… and THIS is what happened next. (Recap of all umpteen previous adventures listed at the end of post).
The Family needed (they decided) to clear their heads and walk off some of the melancholy that hung round them after such a meaningful morning at the School Book Depository. So they walked. They hoped to find (they collectively imagined) something very, well, you know, TEXAN. After all, they had come halfway around the world, endured endless plane flights and they needed something DOWN HOME, DOWNRIGHT, GOSH-DARNED AMERICAN!
And you know what?
They gosh-darned FOUND IT!
Now Wild Bill (whomever he may be) does not know of our Family (although one suspects he may have greatly enjoyed their credit card!) and has not paid for this mention on the interwebs. But I am here to tell you, this family had their jaws dragging on the ground as they gazed unblinkingly around the endless shelves of Wild Bill’s amazing enterprise.
Snakeskin, crocodile, bullskin … you name it, it had been skinned and made into BOOTS.
Faaaaaaa-ncceeeeeee. The Mother could almost SEE these Ladies Boots do a line-dance on their own. Look closely now…
The Prince was very much taken by the raw-er version of the snakeskin boots. The Mother was not sure about testing the fangs QUITE so thoroughly.
The Princess however – as you may already be well aware if you have paid close attention to previous chapters of this Tale – was IN. HER. ELEMENT.
And when Wild Bill’s Deputy thoughtlessly showed her some Pink Flashing boots in passing through the More Serious Cowgirl Boots…
LOVE. AT. FIRST. GAZE….
The Prince – having been dragged away from venomous fanged toys – was persuaded to try on some More Serious Riding Boots. He liked. He liked VERY MUCH.
Although perhaps not as much as he LIKED the CHAIR. Which was in front of a mirror. And held him mesmerised – Prince on Horned Throne – for at least a quarter of an hour.
The Mother was still taking photos of fancy-schmancy BOOT TOES. (The Mother – for those unaware – is NOT a fancy schmancy kinda gal. She is a Plain Jane in her choice of attire. But she does love shooting the Holy Heck out of Fancy. It’s her way.)
And the turquoise jewellery for which these parts of America are so famous also caught her Nikon’s focus. She yearned for some, but it was all so… well not quite UNDERstated enough for her. Still, it was purty. And gave the necessary dose of SOUTH for which she yearned.
Wild Bill did very well that day. And while serious part of the Mother’s head said “BAGGAGE ISSUES AHEAD” the fun part said “WHOO-HOOOT!”
And for those wondering, NO, the Princess’s gaze did not lift above ground level for the next week. (Did we mention FLASHING pink boots?)
If course, all this history and shopping combined to create some growling tummies, so the Family chanced their arms next door for some REAL Texas tucker…
Where they ordered WAY too much food (it would be shortly they would finally understand American portion sizes and limit themselves to two meals a day) and the Mother tried some Iced Tea.
Apparently sold by the BUCKET. It was nice. Refreshing. (But she still found it utterly weird that there is no such thing as HOT tea in America. Talk about culture shock.)
As the family dragged their full tummies and lurid red bags of boots back to the car, turned on their trusty GPS and headed south, they reflected on their first Proper Day in Tayksus (say it in a Matthew McConnaghy accent, people). They decided that despite their dodgy hotel room, and the whole driving on the WRONG SIDE OF THE ROAD thing, it was actually kinda fun.
And as they admired their purchases previously one unmentioned thing came to light. Despite all her carry-on and determination that everybody else needed boots and NOT she, The Mother actually DID buy some Texas boots from Wild Bill. But none of the boots she took photos of. The understanding Deputy at Wild Bills knew a Plain Jane when he saw one and quietly offered her just one pair of boots to try on, just seconds before that credit card hit the register.
For those who missed earlier chapters:
CHAPTER 1 (The Endless Day)
CHAPTER 2 (LA Rodeo Drivin)
CHAPTER 3 (LA Santa Monica Forrest Gump)
CHAPTER 4 (LA Venice to Hollywood)
CHAPTER 5 (LA Universal Thrills)
CHAPTER 6 (Flights of Fancy)
CHAPTER 7 (NYC Rousing Reception)
CHAPTER 8 (NYC How’s Them Apples)
CHAPTER 9 (NYC F for Friends)
CHAPTER 10‘ (NYC Screens & Scenes)
CHAPTER 11 (NYC Cold Outside)
CHAPTER 12 (NYC 2 Giant Ladies)
CHAPTER 13 (NYC Top of the World)
CHAPTER 14 (NYC Walk in the Park)
CHAPTER 15 (NYC Audrey & Mia)
CHAPTER 16 (NYC final hours)
CHAPTER 17 (Texas, Elm St, Dallas)